20 on 20
These are my last few days as a teenager. I can’t say all my teenage years were all sunny and fun, but it doesn’t really matter. What DOES matter to me, is the fact that I’m spending my last few days as a teenager doing nothing special, just wallowing in mediocrity. I’m in a routine where I work 5 days a week, and on weekends, I go out, go home, then watch dvds. Whenever I go out, it’s the same old scene. Nothing special, I tell ya. I feel like a slug, actually. My non-active lifestyle isn’t helping much, either. I keep telling myself that it doesn’t have to be this way, and that I am the one condemning myself to this rut. This cycle. This routine. I want something new, for once. I wanna be able to do things I’ve never done before. I want to go to new places, and enjoy new things. I want to do the things I’ve always told everyone I wanted to do. I want to be a new person. More mature, more fun-loving, and more adventurous. I want to start living an active life, a new life, starting at 20.
Now for even more mush. Many thanks to all the people who’ve journeyed with me throughout my awkward teenage years. You’ve truly helped me grow, and you’ve truly helped me understand the meaning of being a teenager. I’ve experienced it all. I’ve been bullied, I’ve been betrayed, I’ve been in lots of trouble. I’ve made friends, I’ve made enemies. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve made achievements, I’ve been loved, I’ve been hated. I’ve encountered dead-ends, I’ve been through peer pressure, I’ve been changed. I’ve been a good girl, I’ve been a bitch. I’ve even betrayed, I’ve lied, I’ve cried. I’ve many regrets, I’ve many things to be proud of. I’ve been in truly deep shit, I’ve been in many crappy situations. I’ve been humiliated, I’ve been toyed with, I’ve been neglected, I’ve been underestimated. I’ve been admired, I’ve been cherished, I’ve been cared for. I’ve been saved when I needed saving, I’ve been brave when I couldn’t be saved. I’ve been shy, quiet, and introvert, I’ve been loud, funny, and truly happy. Is there anything else being 20 can offer? I don’t know, but I’m here to find out. I asked my sister if she’d be depressed about turning 30. She told me she wouldn’t because she’s got Miggy*. I think that’s the biggest adventure she’s ever had in her life, and I’m really happy for her. She told me, if you think you’ve accomplished a lot, if you think you’re happy, you shouldn’t be depressed. Truth is, I am, actually. I’m glad I’ve got an older sibling. There are so many things they’re good for. So, am I happy about turning 20? Hell yeah! Although I’ll miss being treated like a kid by some people, being 20 means I’m finally getting the "don’t-mess-with-me-punk" badge to show Lanie** and Dad. >:D Just kidding!
* - Ate Mimi’s son
** - she’s my li’l sis
